#277 "2006 Garfies, Part 1"

Date: 1/22/07

Welcome to the 2006 Garfield Awards! The stars are all out for this event, and we're glad to have you in the audience. We've got a large variety of categories this year--twenty in all. Even better, this years awards have a special twist! Ten of those twenty awards were nominated by and later voted on by the general Magic-playing public! Since there are too many awards to fit into two updates, UGM is going to be bringing you coverage of the 2006 Garfies four days this week--that's Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Best Spike:
Demonfire - This was a pretty tight race, but I think the right card won. In today's control-oriented environment, every deck is looking for a high-quality finisher, and it doesn't get much higher than the quality in Demonfire. After all, the worst thing to happen to a game-ending Fireball is a game-ending-ending Counterspell.
Runners-Up:
Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir - Like I said, this was a close race and Teferi was pretty close to winning this category. As we'll see, he didn't quite go home empty handed, either.
Flagstones of Trokair - If you need proof that this card deserves a runner-up spot in the Best Spike race, you just need to scan every deck in every T2 tournament that contains any white cards--and probably more than a few that don't, and you'll find them all packing Flagstones. It's a perfect answer to LD, and dropping two of them into play will net you your choice of two of your favorit Shocklands out of your library. Sounds like a good deal to me.

Best Johnny:
Stuffy Doll - This was a blowout--Stuffy Doll got more than twice the votes of the second place card, and it's no wonder. The card just screams "abuse me". Despite being an 0/1, even at a glance Stuffy looks tremendously dangerous. (Don't tell Stuffy, but as good as he is I think he would have lost to Dragonstorm if it were eligible.)
Runners-Up:
Norin the Wary - I'm not really sure why this card got voted so high into the Best Johnny category--maybe just because it sucks so bad, and it seems like some Johnnies may be able to exploit it. Off the top of my head, though, I can't think of anything really exciting.
Dovescape - Dovescape is very abusable, which suits Johnny just fine. There was even a decent Dovescape deck floating around Standard for awhile. Imagine that--a cool Johnny card that's actually competitive.

Best Timmy:
Simic Sky Swallower - The creature type "Leviathan" is an automatic double-take for any Timmy. The flying and trample bring the total up to a quadruple-take, and the untargetability has reportedly caused seizures and fainting. On top of all that, the art is pretty sweet, too.
Runners-Up:
Dark Depths - Who cares if you have to spend 30 mana to cast it--a 20/20 indestructible creature is the fucking shit. Timmy has nightmares about this card, and awakes with an ear-to-ear grin on his face.
Bogardan Hellkite - Despite its reputation as a major tourney card and a player in a high-profile combo deck, Bogardan Hellkite is really a Timmy card. For starters, it's a dragon. For seconders (??) it's a 5/5 flying dragon with flash. Oh, and it's got some quirky little CIP ability, too. I can't remember what it was, though--something of consequence, methinks.

Best Card:
Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir - As I said before, Teferi did not go home empty-handed in this competition. He is awarded the coveted Best Card award, and for good reason. At five mana, he's playable by turn three if you power him out. A 3/4 is no slouch if he needs to go into combat, and he's out of range of most burn spells (save Char). Perfect for a blue permission deck, as he's playable at the end of your opponent's turn. Then once he's in play, he gives all of your creatures the same advantages, and stops your opponent from doing the same back to you. Sounds like a Best Card to me.
Runners-Up:
Demonfire - These two really just switched places from the Spike category, and I think it's only because the Johnnies and Timmies like Teferi more than Demonfire. It's still a card of excellent quality, though, and deserves the second-place in this category as much as it deserved the first-place in Best Spike.
Simic Sky Swallower - Speaking of quality cards, the Sky Swallower is up there, too. His stats are incredible, and at such an affordable cost, it's no wonder he scored so high in this category.

Worst Card:
Moonlace - Moonlace won the Worst Card category by a landslide. It's well understood that this card is an homage to the Lace cycle from Alpha, but guess what? No one liked those cards either. Least of all in your rare slot.
Runners-Up:
The Entire Nephilim Cycle - What a disappointment these cards were! Guildpact's super cool extra cycle, the first four-color cards in Magic, and they... they just sucked. Cool abilities, but not cool enough to warrant paying the exorbitant cost. And if these are ancient gods of days long forgotten, why are they so puny? A 1/1 god, really?
Norin the Wary - As I mentioned before, Norin's pretty shitty. I can appreciate the flavor involved, but here's another example of a rare you really don't want to open in a draft. Because he's worthless.

And there you have the first five categories. Exciting! Remember to tune in tomorrow for continuing coverage.